Harris Dickinson On Dating Advice, Overcoming Icks & Third Wheeling

Hi British Vogue. I am Harris Dickinson.

And it's my turn to be your agony uncle.

Let's listen.

[radio buzzing]

[Caller] Hi Harris.

I've been seeing a guy for a few months and really like him,

but his personal style is giving me the ick.

Do you have any advice on how I can help him with it

without being offensive?

The whole concept of like an ick is interesting.

I was talking about this the other day with someone.

They gave me a long list of their icks

and one of them was when they go on a date with someone

and they look down and the guy's feet are swinging

on a bar stool.

How is that an ick?

Or if someone reaches into their pocket

and they hear change, that's an ick.

Like, why is that an ick?

I feel I feel bad for these poor guys

with their feet swinging around on bar stools.

Back to the question,

ultimately you can't style your other half.

If that ick persists, I would say kindly part ways.

[Caller] [radio buzzing] Hi Harris.

My partner always spend an obscene amount of money

on birthday presents.

It's really nice of him,

but I just don't have the same budget to play with.

What do you think I should do?

[laughs] Sorry, just the saying,

I don't have the same budget to play with, maybe not.

Talking about like you're planning like a corporate...

Yeah, maybe just do something like thoughtful,

plan something for them or cook for them,

or write them something or draw them something.

I always find that goes a long way.

My partner is always very good at presents.

We try not to like make that a part of the culture

of gift giving, like big extravagant things, so-

[object clattering] [crew laughing]

Okay, now we'll leave that there. That's all right.

[radio buzzing]

[Caller] Dear Harris,

I'm on a third date with a great guy,

but I'm not feeling excited, which seems to be my norm.

Do I stick with it and see where it goes

or call it quits now?

I would say if you are not excited after three dates, then

you're probably not gonna be.

Right? Everyone?

I mean, if you've got time, maybe give it one more go.

See if you get excited.

If you don't, I would just sack it off truthfully.

I think you could probably just call 'em

and be like, Look, this isn't for me.

I'm gonna say thank you, but no thank you.

[radio buzzing]

[Caller] I'm about to meet the in-laws

for the first time next week.

Have you got any suggestions to make a good impression?

Be yourself unless yourself is inappropriate I'd say.

I was about to say, they won't be judging you,

but they will be judging you, so

try not to worry about being judged.

It can go one or two ways, can't it?

You either really enjoy each other's company

or you just don't like them.

A lot of people have to deal with in-laws

that aren't very nice all the time.

Doesn't ruin relationships, makes it harder but

look at me talking like I'm a therapist.

Bloody hell.

[radio buzzing]

Lovely. Look at that.

[Caller] Hi Harris.

My flatmate recently started seeing someone

and from a month, in they're practically living in our flat.

It's making me feel like a third wheel of my own home,

but I don't want to create an atmosphere by bringing it up.

What do you think I should do?

Kick them out. Obviously.

I wouldn't have that. That's too comfortable.

Just be honest with them and say, Look,

this wasn't the agreement.

Don't be confrontational, you know? Be gentle.

[radio buzzing]

[Caller] Hi Harris.

My parents are always nagging me about settling down

and it's starting to do my head in.

How do I tell them to give me a break?

Come on, we're 2025. No one should be told to settle down.

Settle down.

The thing is is that that's obviously their idea of what

the next stage of life is.

Maybe for you that's not it. Define settling down.

Does that mean like meeting someone, having kids?

For me, that seems like a pretty dated idea of what

someone's life should be.

Have a chat with your folks and tell 'em,

Listen, get off my back.

[button clicks] [radio buzzing]

[Caller] Hey Harris, I'm a young actor from California

and I'm notoriously bad at doing accents.

What's your advice for nailing an accent?

Going out and talking in an accent

to people that don't know you.

Don't do it to your mates

'cause they'll think you're an idiot.

With Babygirl, I started that job thinking

I was gonna stay in the accent and then I got a week in

and was like, Ah, I feel like an idiot.

Well, you feel like you're lying to people

on set a little bit

because people ask you personal questions

and you then answer back and you're like,

Ah, I don't wanna do this.

[radio buzzing]

[Caller] Hi Harris. I've outgrown my school friends.

But making friends as an adult feels so much harder.

Any advice on where and how to meet new people?

Quit your job, move to Bali. No, sorry.

I'm sure there is an app. LinkedIn.

Maybe like hobbies.

Go and find the kind of scene that you're interested in,

a music scene or an art scene or a sports scene,

and I'm sure that you'll end up crossing paths

with like-minded people.

[radio buzzing]

Hi Harris. I'm a Cancer just like yourself.

Our birthdays are actually four days apart.

Anyway, I'm true to the stereotype.

I'm super sensitive and emotional

and I love showering people with affection,

but my kindness is often taken for weakness.

What's your advice for dealing with that?

The funny thing about being a Cancer is that

people always, when you tell them, they always go,

Oh, you're so sensitive, or Oh, they're very emotional

and we're not all right?

I dunno if I agree with the notion of being like,

oh yeah, I'm such a Cancer or something.

Then you can very easily start getting

into behavioral traits that defined

very specifically by your chart or something.

What I would suggest is understand that that could be

a potential for you to be, you know, taken advantage of

your kindness, but don't let that get in the way

of being kind because that's an important thing

to lead you through life.

[button clicks] [radio buzzing]

[Caller] I'm in the early stages of my acting career

and I'm finding it so difficult to remember lines.

How do you do it?

I always found it difficult myself.

I remember I didn't really unlock lines until

the day before I needed to do them.

I feel like sometimes the fear of

having to do it and having to know them

is the best way to unlock it.

I feel you can't really learn lines on your own very well.

Like you need to get someone to read it with you.

[radio buzzing]

[Caller] I think I'm stuck in a rut.

All of my recent first dates have been trash.

How do I break the cycle?

If they've all been bad, maybe is it you?

I'm joking, I'm joking, I'm joking. [laughs]

How are you meeting these people?

Has it been like dating apps or are you meeting them out?

I feel like you just gotta do it a lot.

It's just a strange scenario, isn't it?

Like being forced into that situation with someone

both looking for the same thing

but kind of pretending not to look for that thing?

[radio buzzing]

[Caller] I'm finding the juggle of daily life

unmanageable at the moment.

What do you do to stay organized?

The biggest thing at the moment is

for me is like not going on my phone before bed.

Ambitious people get obsessed with like a certain kind of

speed of life or speed of progression,

and I think it's also about

your real world experiences as well.

Finding ways to like reconnect with people

and family and friends and nature

in a way that is very simple.

[button clicks] Thanks for all the questions.

I've been your average agony uncle

and I'll see you next time.

[radio thuds]

[hands clap] Lovely.

[funky music]